OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
