I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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