I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
