Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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