you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
