remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
