Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
