I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
