Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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