How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
