Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
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I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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