i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
