she looked like the bat from fern gully.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
