so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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