Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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