I want to walk on stilts...naked
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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