Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
