soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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