in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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