would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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