I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
