Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I need a beard to bite.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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