I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Vodka?
Forever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
