is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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