I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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