Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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