I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
