cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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