the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"