I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Barsexuality is the new black.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.