I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?