So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she looked like the before picture.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!