I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
