Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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