Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
