I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
