Umm I'm too high to move.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
