the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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