Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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