For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
