i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
