Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
