There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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