those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize