heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
