her vagine was all disorganized.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
