i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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