i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
As shirtless as possible
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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