He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
