3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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