How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
