nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
