I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
