...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize