I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need a hoe opinion
go on
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
