I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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