I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need a beard to bite.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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