your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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