Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
