you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
